Love and Moo, y'all

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Not the best relationship advice to follow; especially since I somehow wound up being the cow. Udderly ridiculous!

Yet, here I am, wondering what I'm heifer as you yank me this way and that. This way and that way and this way and that way. Have you ever seen a laddie yanked this way and that? And not in the good way either.

So I laugh, a childish laugh, as our relationship becomes guided by childish nonsense, instead of adult love and respect.

Moo, y'all, moo.

love and hostage

Around the neighborhood lurk undesirable characters. Not you - you just have undesirable habits. No, I'm referring to those wonderful souls who quietly invite themselves into the homes and cars of our peaceful neighbors, and steal things.

When I lived alone and couldn't return home because of work, I wasn't too worry. I had the blinds drawn over the windows to block the prying eyes of passers-by. The living room lights would automatically turn on when they sensed the approaching darkness of the night. To the outside world, it looked as though someone lived inside.

Now, you and your family live in my home. We happily open the shades to let in the warmth and beauty of daylight. So, to protect you and your goodies from those with thieving hearts, I ask that we close the window shades at night. Otherwise, anyone can stand by the roadside, hidden in the shadows, and easily make an inventory of our belongs brightly lit by the living room lamps. Yet, you repeatedly ignore my simple request.

Are you so pampered that you don't have the strength to stand up and twirl the curtain rod a few turns to close the blinds? Is the darkest outside the windows and the sudden appearance of light from the living room lamp not enough of hint? Are my requests too much for you?

I feel like I'm living in a hostage situation for my life. I've met your demands; I've changed my habits; I've gone above and beyond to accommodate your every desire. How about you put a little action behind your words of "I love you"? How about you clean your messes? How about you respect my wishes?

I guess I could escalate this hostage situation by changing the door locks. But at that point, we would only be negotiating how to get your stuff out of my house. Our relationship would no longer be part of the talks. Then we would become the most undesirable of characters - angry ex-lovers.

all is fair in love and fair

To be fair, we can say that you’ve tried. But, to be County Fair, your reflection in the fun mirrors of my heart has gotten uglier.

Sorry. That was a little mean. Still, I've found myself look forward to the tension-free times when you're away.

You keeping saying, "I love you." I wish your actions and attitude spoke the same words.